Beware of Resistance to Change After Being divorced
In todays article we talk about change after getting divorced.
When a divorce coach works with clients it is a fundamental aspect to help them to understand the most common reasons why they are objecting to change. Majority of times their clients re not aware of all sources of resistance to change. However educating your client to expect that there will be resistance to change and being prepared to manage it is a proactive step towards recovery after divorce.
Listed below are some of the reasons people who are going or have been through a divorce resist change.
Misunderstanding about the need for changeWhen the reasons for the change are unclear, you may believe that remaining in the marital home is beneficial for the children, which is the reason why a new beginning and a new home will be resisted. This can lead to an on- going battle of settlement.
Poor communicationIt’s self-evident isn’t it? When it comes to change there’s no such thing as too much communication. Lack of competence This is a fear divorcees will seldom admit. But sometimes change to becoming single or a single parent requires changes in parenting skills, and some people will feel that they won’t be able to make the transition very well.
Connected to the old wayIf you ask clients after 16 years of marriage to live independently, they will feel as if they are setting themselves up against all that hard wiring. They might be used to their spouse managing household bills and to become actively involved in their finance management is a challenging learning process.
When a you don’t believe that your ex-spouse can manage parenting independently then there is likely to be resistance to co-parenting.
Fear of the unknown
One of the most common reasons for resistance is fear of the unknown. Majority of times people going through a divorce will only take active steps toward the unknown if they genuinely believe – and perhaps more importantly, feel that the risks of standing still are greater than those of moving
forward in a new direction.
When you believe that the change initiative is a temporary fad and your spouse will be returning to the matrimonial home.
Not being consulted
If you were part of the divorce decision there is less resistance. You will cooperate and are likely to co-parent and settle the divorce outside the courts.
Changes to our comfort zone
When we talk about comfort zones we are really referring to routines. Routines make us feel secure.
So there is bound to be resistance whenever change requires us to do things differently than what we re accustomed to.
Change in the status quoResistance can also stem from perceptions of the change that clients hold. For example, people may feel they’ll be worse off at the end of the change are unlikely to give it their full support to recovery. Similarly, if you believe the change favours your ex- spouse (unspoken) anger and resentment can hinder the recovery process.
Benefits and rewardsWhen the benefits and rewards for making the change towards recovery are not seen as adequate for you and your children the objection to recovery is inevitably slim.
Divorce Attorneys Jamaica hope that this article gave you some insight into why you may be resisting change after going through a divorce. Looking for a speedy divorce lawyer in Jamaica West Indies? Then contact us today.
Bonus Video on the 5 stages of divorce.